Another day, another dollar
Wow, I waited month's for that premiere and now I'm depressed. You can't kill a main character in the first episode! I mean really, poor Sydney Bristow, she loses two fiances in season premieres five years apart. I don't care how crazy it is, I cried for the girl. I may be unlucky in love, but at least all the guys I fall for don't end up getting killed! (Then again I'm also not a black ops division CIA agent.) My only hope is that, the show being what it is, Vaughn's death was staged, but with the rumors of Michael Vartan planning to leave, I highly doubt that.
Alright, enough of boring you all with my "Alias" talk. I finally have an insane cat story that does not involve my critters. My cousin's little boy heard an owl outside and he kept asking her if he could see it. She told him it was probably hidden and he wouldn't be able to find it so he should
just go to bed. A little while later while she was in her bedroom she looked out the window and saw one of her young cats up in the air. She thought to herself, "Man that cat is jumping really high." A second later she realized it was in the owl's beak! The owl dropped it, then swooped down to pick it up again and started to carry it away. She went running outside screaming until the owl dropped it again and she brought the little kitty inside. I would have had to kill that bird, and usually I love all animals.
Anyhow, anyone ever notice how much red tape comes with being an adult? Everything requires a letter in the mail that asks for a timely response. Quit wasting my
postage and my time people! I have better things to do than straighten out all the paperwork that gets screwed up -- like play with my DVR and fish Jazzie's bootchy ball out from under the stove. I know, my life is sad. Usually work keeps me busy for eight hours straight. My mind gets a good workout and I come home ready to veg. Today, however, work was pretty slow, nothing interesting was happening, which sucks for me, but is great for the general public considering on Wed. a half dozen people were shot or beaten within an inch of their lives. The great sick thing about the news business is that it's ok to get all hyped up about death and destruction. That's what gets us 4 million page views a month!
Fuzzy situations
We're having a bunny incident at my apartment tonight. This adorable little creature likes to hop around my building at night which confuses and/or frustrates my cats. Champ ran out the door one night and chased it into some bushes before I caught him, so I thought maybe it would
be scared off. No such luck. Tonight Jazzie spotted it from the balcony and decided that jumping from the second story to chase it sounded like a good idea. She whined and looked for a good place to gracefully fall, but I pulled out all the stops and mentioned the magic word -- "treat" -- just before her front paws left the wood. So, disaster, or a broken kitty leg, was narrowly averted. She keeps wanting to go outside and keep on eye out for it, however.
The incident reminded me of another interesting bunny problem Champ once had. When he was about 8 weeks old I took him to visit my aunt while she was babysitting for five young kids. They had a
huge lop-eared bunny and the little girls wanted to see it play with the kitten. Well apparently this large male bunny thought Champ was a little girl bunny and defiled my poor baby. The children were mostly confused, Champ was mostly terrified and my aunt was laughing so hard she could barely breathe and her face was bright red. It was amusing and disturbing all at the same time.
Anyhow, tomorrow night is
the big night. Season premiere of "Alias." One of the guys at work and I have been freaking out about it for weeks; hoping that the show won't be ruined with J. Gar's pregnancy. BTW, she accidentally revealed on Leno that it's a girl. Look how fabulous she looked! She got a standing ovation when she walked on stage. I mean really, she's not the world's best actress, but who doesn't want to root for someone who looks so glowing and happy? (Despite the fact that she's carrying the progeny of Ben Affleck.) My co-worker Kyle has decided I have a girl crush on her. I, on the other hand, am trying to convert him to an "Alias" fan so he'll understand why I've gotten so revved up about the show and why I envy the girl so much. I like her for the same reason I love Angelina Jolie, they're sexy and they kick some serious ass. It may be cheesy, but I love strong female role models. They don't make me want to kill somebody or myself like Tara Reid or Paris Hilton does. (I promise after the season gets underway I'll chill a bit on the "Alias" talk.)
Random thoughts
It's funny how small things can lead to the most random thoughts. Champ was watching me iron but he was so tired he could only keep one eye open. That and the irritated look on his face made me think of a pirate, which made me think of the time my old roommate Lauren was studying for a bio test. Out of nowhere she said, "Wouldn't it be funny if I stood up in the middle of the test and said 'Argh, this test be hard,'?" in her best pirate accent. I cracked up and said I'd pay her to do it, but she decided it was a bad idea. Sometimes I really miss having roommates. Then usually I think better of it.
Anyway, earlier in the day I saw this cartoon and it reminded me of my friend KP, a.k.a. Cptn. S.A. Ho for anyone who reads my comments. Although he hates cats, something about the essence of Garfield in this cartoon is just like him. Maybe it's that he tries to put a positive spin on everything, maybe it's that he thinks he's the most original person ever. I dunno. I tried to think of a good story about him that I could put up, but most are inappropriate for the general public. Although I will say he owes me a visit and maybe we'll do something I can write about. The last time I visited him he bailed on me and spent the night out with his date, and that was the day after I got fired from my last job. Way to cheer me up! Sure getting fired turned out to be the best thing for me, but at the time I felt really lost so he owes me! Besides, who doesn't want to party in Charlotte?
I feel like bitchin'
I accomplished about half of what was on my to-do list today, so that's a big plus. It was good to keep busy after the day I had Sunday. Work was like "let's talk about getting married!" day. One of the guys brought in the ring he's planning to propose with in the next few weeks and of course we all had to stop working and swarm around him to hear all about it. Turns out a bunch of the gang had made bets on who was going to get engaged first and there are like 4 couples
they had in the running. That's in addition to the several who are already engaged. So after hearing all about engagements and weddings when I was already behind on my work, I finally excused myself and mentioned outloud that now I felt really out of the loop because I'm hopelessly single. It was nice, all the girls jumped on that and tried to make me feel better. Still, I kinda feel like the last kid picked for the kickball game. I'm going to end up on somebody's team just because there's no one left to choose from. It's not fair, I'm a really good sport! My dad always tries to tell me that I just haven't found anyone who realizes what a catch I am. I think that's just the obligatory dad response.
I also got the obligatory mom response today when I lamented that I'm not doing anything worthwhile with my life. Everyone had such high hopes for me growing up because I was such an overachiever. Teachers always wrote that I had a bright future ahead of me in my yearbooks. I'm scared to death I'll never reach that future, that I'll just end up waiting around for success that will never come. I've only been at this job for three months and I'm already anxious to move up in the world! My mom told me I just need to patient, that I'll figure out my purpose in life one of these days. I just want to do something meaningful in this world. The girl who battled me for valedictorian of my high school class (who, however, didn't get into Carolina!) is in med school now, countless others I know are also getting higher degrees, and I'm just spending my days slaving away. I really want to write a novel like the ones I have enjoyed so much over the years, but the last thing I want to do during my free time is try to write well! I use up all my good brainpower at work. Also I think I really looked to those books for answers in my life, a little guidance, the same way I relate to
"Sex and the City" and watch how Carrie deals with her "Biggage." Right now I need help navigating through my own inner issues, I can't give sage advice to anyone else! Which reminds me, I miss my Miranda. Joelle, you need to come visit soon!
I hate being a grown-up
I think the true mark of adulthood is when you realize you actually dread the weekend because you have so much to do. I'm on a cleaning kick right now and the only time I can vacuum is during my weekends (Mon. and Tues.) because I feel like I'm disturbing people if I turn it on after 9 p.m. (after I get home and eat). So I have big plans to get this carpet clean and then mop the tile floors. As much as I look forward to having everything clean, I'm dreading getting off my ass to do the work. I'm much more motivated on weekdays when I have a schedule to keep.
Tonight I
got home and cleaned both the kitchen and the bathroom, somethings I could quietly accomplish at 10 p.m. Just watching me positively exhausted the cats. Then I rewarded myself
with a glass of wine and a DVRed episode of "Alias" :). The first episode is pretty good and the music is awesome. I used to want to be the person who picked out the music for scenes in TV shows and movies. I think I'd be good at it.
Speaking of "Alias," I'm counting down the days to the season premiere (4.5), but first I have to make it through the unbearably boring tasks of adult life at the start of the week. I gotta figure out how to change which county my vehicle is taxed in. Anyone have any suggestions? Plus I have a pile of clothes to iron -- I don't think the wrinkle releaser is going to cut it for the khakis. And one of these days I'm going to bring myself to make a dentist appointment for a teeth cleaning and get my filthy white car back to looking like new. Oh, and the ceiling fan for my bedroom has been sitting all put together in my closet for like 3 weeks now because I still haven't gotten the maintenance people to put it up. Anyone reading this, feel free to call me any time on Monday or Tuesday and remind me I have things to get done!
The black hole
I'm convinced there's a black hole in my apartment. Something with a penchant for mylar balls and refrigerator magnets is sucking things out of sight. I had six glass magnets on my fridge when I moved in, now I'm down to four and it's only been three months. Yesterday was the last straw. While I was at work it ate Jazzie's mylar ball, or the bootchy ball as I call it.
This, you see, was a disaster. It was no ordinary cat toy, it was her
favorite toy. So, I spent many hours searching for the damn thing while she cried and cried and cried last night. I looked everywhere. And I do mean everywhere. I looked in the couch cushions, under the laundry basket, behind the microwave and under every surface more than an inch and a half off the ground. This is the second one the black hole has eaten, and nothing could replace it when she wanted it most. I tried giving her the big kid version, a much larger ball, but it wasn't good enough -- she couldn't carry it around comfortably in her mouth. So today during my dinner break I had to run out to PetSmart and get another one. Anything to avoid hearing her cry all evening again. Much to my surprise the damn things were a buck a piece! I might as well wad up a dollar bill and give it to her! I'm sure the black hole would quickly suck that up. But for the sake of peace I bought another bootchy ball and a spare. For the last two hours I have definitely not regretted it. It has kept her well entertained. But I'm thinking about attaching a string to this one to see if it will lead me to the black hole.
Puppy pics and the news biz
Who doesn't love cute puppy pictures? I thought maybe today I'd share my puppy fever, which I must say is way better than baby fever. I think I just look at puppy pictures online to entertain myself and keep away from all the negativity the news tends to infuse me with. I mean really, some Mexican killed his roommate and then cut him into pieces and threw the pieces out in the woods this week. The cops just happened to come by and caught the guy with just a torso in the mobile home. I think it's time for another puppy picture!
Anyway, so lovely Rita is on her way to the Gulf Coast and I'll be stuck working all by myself when all hell breaks loose. I very well might loose my mind between trying to keep the web constantly updated and watching the gas prices skyrocket. If gas prices reach $5, I swear I'm going to take a sleeping bag to work. I can walk next door to the Y to take showers and spend my evenings at the Morehead Tavern, our other next door neighbor. I've got digital cable with a DVR at my desk and I'd only need to come home to feed the cats every few days. Ok, I've obviously put way too much thought into that.
Anyway, I don't have much to say tonight, "American Dad" is distracting me even though it's not nearly as good as "Family Guy." New "Family Guy" next, woo hoo!
Say Anything . . .
My favorite movie of all time was on TV last night. "Say Anything" is a true classic. If I can ever be half the writer Cameron Crowe is, I'll be damn proud of myself. I love every sentence in that movie. I mean really, who doesn't love, "I gave her my heart, she gave me a pen," or "I'm looking for a dare-to-be-great situation." And what's more romantic than a guy standing outside your window blaring Peter Gabriel's "In Your Eyes"?
I have the movie poster (and John Cusack was such at cutie at 22) but I've never hung it up because I keep thinking I'm too "adult" to hang posters in my apartment. My Van Gogh poster became an actual wall hanging, but a movie poster is a little different. When I moved to Charlotte I decided to hang it in my bedroom but my munchkin Jazzie decided to eat the corner of it, so now I need a poster frame to hang it in and hide the bite marks. I plan on buying one, but gas is sucking up all my disposable income.
Speaking of disposable income, I'm still working on talking myself out of getting a dog. I've seen a lot of cute puppies on Petfinder.com. I'm not sure how I caught the puppy bug, but I think it has something to do with living right next to a greenway trail and seeing Oprah's new pups while I was watching TV at work the other day. Champ thinks he's a dog and would love a puppy to play with; Jazzie however would probably be very unhappy for a few days. I don't want to do that to my baby girl, but what a great way to meet people and get some exercise. Too bad you can't just rent a dog for a day.
TV time
So today I refused to be anything more than mildly productive. I did some laundry, but I dedicated the evening to my pop culture education. The "Nip/Tuck" boys are back, something
I've been waiting a long time for. I love the whole Carver storyline. That dark element is so
much more appealing to me than the bullshit shallow bodily-appearance issues. I gotta say I loved the part near the end when Christian hooked up with the hot detective. Finally a truly beautiful woman to put Kimber in her place. I have a feeling I'm going to love that character -- someone who's dark and sexy; very Angelina Jolie.
Before that I checked out "My Name Is Earl" and "Bones." "Bones" seemed like your typical crime drama. It's decent, I'll watch it when I have nothing to do during that hour. "My Name Is Earl" though was awesome. It definitely lives up to the hype. Few shows can make me laugh out loud, but this one passes the test. I'm adding it to the DVR list with "Alias" and "Desperate Housewives."
P.S., I think the Carver is going to end up being their new partner or Famke Jansen's son. Anyone care to make a wager?
MILFs
Tonight was day six in a row at the news station and I'm damn glad I have the next two days off. It's not that I don't love my job, but it can make you a little crazy being in that office every day for eight hours. When I was a reporter I would leave the office every chance I got. Now I don't get to do that, but the trade-off gave me a TV and DVR at my desk. I have a feeling I'm going to really enjoy that now that we're back into series' seasons. I'll get to catch up on all the
Alias episodes I never saw now that it's running on TNT at 6 p.m. weeknights. I think the new season, however, and any future seasons are going to suck. Although I'm happy for Jennifer Garner, a baby is going to ruin the show. BTW, anyone see how she looked at the Emmys? Well I'll show you then, she was gorgeous! Now that is one beautiful, happy pregnant woman. Compare her to Britney, who got fat and ugly. Even her nose got wider! Yet she has already
deemed herself a "hot mom." Whatever. Ben Affleck is hot, Kevin Federline looks like a sleezoid, everybody knows who will have the cuter baby.
Anyhow, it's the women like Jennifer Garner and Jennifer Aniston that give me hope. Maybe, just maybe, I'll still look fantastic and marry a hot guy and have kids when I'm in my mid-30s. Hell, I have a much better shot than most -- I got my mom's genes, we just get better looking with age. Although it creeps most of my siblings out, I'm proud of the fact that my mom was called a MILF by my high school guy friends. Maybe that's because I look just like her. I kinda felt like I was inadvertently called hot, and that felt pretty good considering I don't think anyone has ever told me I was hot in my entire life. I'm just always the girl-next-door. But hey, at least I'm not fat. In fact, any extra pudge I picked up during my first year out of college suddenly melted away during my first few months in Charlotte. Score!
This one time at smart camp . . .
I guess since I've had this thing for a few days I should finally get around to explaining the title. As most of my friends know, I spent two summers taking college classes at Cornell University while I was in high school. They were life-changing experiences -- especially the first year. See, I was ridiculously miserable in high school, I couldn't wait to get away and never look back. So going to this amazing college where I finally met people on my level was like being able to really breathe for the first time. That first year was one of the only times I've ever felt like I truly belonged, and I made these wonderful, close friends almost instantly. Anyhow, I could go on about how great things were forever, but of course it all came to an end when I had to go back to Greenville and face two more years of high school. Suddenly it was like being in prison. I'd tasted freedom and I couldn't go back. I was seriously depressed. I wanted a tattoo identical to Angelina Jolie's that says "A prayer for the wild at heart, kept in cages."
A couple of my friends that year got sick of hearing me talk about Cornell and the friends I'd made there. One even accused me of not caring about him anymore. But time passed quickly and I was invited back for another summer -- this time for six weeks. That just happened to be the summer that
American Pie came out, and since it mentions Cornell a few times, my friends there and I went to see it twice. So when I went home I had somehow developed the habit of saying "One time at Cornell." Well my Greenville friends started ragging on me and their signature tag whenever I mentioned my summer became "This one time at smart camp," thus the title of my blog.
That storytelling side of me has been the focus of my life ever since then. Although I'd known most of my life that I wanted to be a writer, those years at Cornell coincided with the birth of my interest in journalism. Although I don't think I'm particularly talented or creative, I think one day I'll find my niche. For now I feel like I'm just working a job that is interesting, pays the bills and keeps my writing skills in tune, but I won't be winning any awards or recognition with what I do. But hey, I have the rest of my life to get somewhere, right?
It's the idiots that keep us in business
So you hear some pretty strange things working in a major news station. I've heard cops on the scanner talking about an SUV that rolled over, landed on its wheels and the driver just kept on driving. I heard about a teen that called 911 and said he'd been shot, but he was lying. Just the other day a 19-year-old decided to put a lighter to a black powder substance clearly marked "Flammable -- do not expose to flame." Surprise, surprise -- there was a big flash and now the kid has third-degree burns over most of his body. It seems most people are insane or stupid! Then today some lady emails us to tell us that she picked up a prescription at CVS and when she was driving home she took two pills for her migraine and started feeling funny. She looked down and discovered they’d given her the wrong prescription and ended up going to the emergency room. I really wanted to write back and tell her she’s a dumbass for taking two pills without ever
looking at the bottle or the pills. But yesterday beat all. We got like a dozen calls about a giant muffin falling off a billboard and landing on a car. All I can say is, that's some damn good advertising and people are idiots.
Anyway, so I rarely pass up the opportunity to go out for a few drinks, but I'm just not feeling it tonight. It's already past 10, it would take me 20 minutes to get uptown and I'd need to turn around and leave in 2 hours to get home and get to bed so I can get my ass up for work tomorrow. Plus I'm in a bad mood since I got roped into working Monday so that my coworker can play golf with the boss. I don't enjoy being inconvenienced so someone else can get payed to have a good time while I work. It's tough being the new kid. I have to work every weekend, and during HS football season I can only take Wednesdays or Thursdays off. The rest of the year I at least get the choice of taking a Friday. I never have even the option of a free weekend to visit with friends or go to a game. I might not have appreciated having weekends before, but like they say, you don't know what you've got till it's gone. Cliches become cliches because they are so damn true. Except maybe "dead as a doornail," I don't know where that came from.
No user error here
Yeah, so blogspot is having issues with photos today so I guess I'll keep this short. Today wasn't terribly exciting or thought-provoking anyway. My work buddy Kyle and I ranted about what the world is coming to that so many of our friends are in a rush to get married while other ones are getting divorced and Hollywood is making the whole concept of commitment a joke. But on the plus side, Brad Pitt and Kenny Chesney are now up for grabs!
The funny thing is, as much as I bitch about the marriage-mongers out there, I'm pretty happy in my own little apartment with my cats. I'd like to have someone to watch movies with and a built-in bar buddy, but give me a glass of eiswein and a set of clean sheets with my snuggle buddies and it's all good. I don't need all the bullshit. I spent all of last year thinking that maybe if I had someone I'd be happy, but in reality I was just stressed out and miserable in my job and looking for something to take my mind off of it. Now that I get to leave work at work, I feel like a whole new person. I miss a lot of the really nice people I met in the Raleigh area, but I certainly don't miss having to pop anxiety pills on a Saturday because I'm dreading Monday so much I can barely breathe. Because I liked the people and I wanted to be a writer, I lied to myself and said that I liked my job, but it wasn't true. I was working for the most poorly managed company for 100 miles. The place was like
Office Space: follow the procedure with your TPS reports, fill out an evaluation of what you are contributing to the company, watch analysts tell the managers how to make the employees work harder while cutting benefits and adding more red tape to the operations. I'm finally free to say that my boss was one of the biggest idiots I have ever met, and I've met a lot of idiots. Ok, I could go on about that shit forever and I've already gone on longer than I planned. Later peeps.
What a week
It's been a very strange week. On Tuesday I met the man of my mom's dreams. I say my mom's because she has higher standards for me than I do. I'll call him Mr. Tall, Dark and Handsome. He's a Carolina/law school grad with style and obviously plenty of money. Despite catching his gaze across the room a few times, I think he's way out of my league. But he's exactly the type of guy my mom has been hoping I'll meet in Charlotte so I plan on attending all Carolina Club events possible to keep trying my luck. This on the same day I find out one of my many assholes/liar pseudo-boyfriend/friends of the past is getting divorced from his wife of about a year and gave my dad a call to get some legal advice. That's the exact juxtaposition of my life -- not poised or pretty enough for one, way too good for the other. I decided long ago life's too short to seek perfection (and let's face it, perfection is fucking boring, give me a little neuroses any day), but come on -- why is it so hard to find anyone in the middle?
Then last night I went out with future "Desperate Housewives" of America. The only things about 80 percent of the table talked about were engagement rings and buying houses/condos. Way to make me feel two gigantic steps behind. Not like their prospects were stellar -- the one girl is ring shopping with a guy whose divorce isn't even final and another is buying a condo the size of my apartment way, way out in south Charlotte. I wouldn't want either of those! Nonetheless, I need to make more friends who are more "Sex and the City" and less "Desperate Housewives." Carrie here ISO a Charlotte, Miranda and Samantha. Doesn't anyone just want to go out and have a good time anymore? Why do all discussions have to revolve around "getting somewhere"?
Where to start . . .
Ok, so I always wanted my own column like Craig Wilson in USA Today so I could tell all the crazy stories I have stored up in my head. Or maybe I'd write a book with all of them like this nearly 90-year-old guy I met in Franklinton who was the most racist, opinionated, crazy-ass dude I ever met, but I could talk to him for hours cause for every story he told, I had one right back. That guy had lived more in one life than most people could in three lifetimes. He'd been a paratrooper in the military, a successful writer and a race-car driver. He'd also learned to fly planes and used one to buy himself a bobcat, which he kept caged in his backyard. His wife was this sweet, little quiet woman who loved her cat, Suger. You can imagine how my jaw dropped the day we talked about the black guy who got hit by a car while drunkly crossing the street (and who was pronounced dead and discovered alive more than 2 hours later in the morgue cooler) and she said "he was just a drunk nigger, who cares? I don't get what the big deal is." I guess I shouldn't have told the people at the paper about that because my old friend promptly got fired, despite having written his crabby rantings for the weekly for more than 20 years. But he gave me a copy of his book, full of short stories from Franklin County's history and his life, with the inscription "Best wishes." I really miss that old guy, he was probably the best thing that ever came out of that job.
So, what the hell is wrong with me that the two people who have impressed me most professionally have been crabby old men? Maybe all good writers were crabby old men; although I think F. Scott drank himself to death at an early age. Often the brightest stars burn out most quickly.
just go to bed. A little while later while she was in her bedroom she looked out the window and saw one of her young cats up in the air. She thought to herself, "Man that cat is jumping really high." A second later she realized it was in the owl's beak! The owl dropped it, then swooped down to pick it up again and started to carry it away. She went running outside screaming until the owl dropped it again and she brought the little kitty inside. I would have had to kill that bird, and usually I love all animals.
postage and my time people! I have better things to do than straighten out all the paperwork that gets screwed up -- like play with my DVR and fish Jazzie's bootchy ball out from under the stove. I know, my life is sad. Usually work keeps me busy for eight hours straight. My mind gets a good workout and I come home ready to veg. Today, however, work was pretty slow, nothing interesting was happening, which sucks for me, but is great for the general public considering on Wed. a half dozen people were shot or beaten within an inch of their lives. The great sick thing about the news business is that it's ok to get all hyped up about death and destruction. That's what gets us 4 million page views a month!
