Happy Halloween!
Muwahaha! Happy Halloween to all! I went home to help the 'rents with their
decorations. I like last year's better, which I'll have to post when I get back to the Queen City. Anywho, we had a pile of trick-or-treaters, which has inspired me to try to get the family to kick it up a notch next year. We need to get some new stuff to make it scary again. Most of
the kids have seen what
we've got, and those things are starting to deteriorate with time. It was fun to see all the kids in their costumes. The little girl from down the street was the cutest thing I have ever seen! And I got to see the baby of a girl I knew from school. The baby was a tad on the chubby side, much like her mama. It was weird to see her again. I remember going to Costa Rica with her when I was in 9th grade and she told us her nickname was "Big Mac" because she was with some guy at a party and you all can guess what was going on that he described as "like she was chowing down on a Big Mac." I can't believe she has a kid!
I'm actually probably going to go to bed early again tonight. I partied myself into being very tired on Sat. night at Travers' party. I give that party two thumbs up! I had a really great time and drank a few too many Mark-aritas so I had to stay until I had sobered up around 4 a.m. But hey, I was having too much fun to leave before then anyway. I can't wait for Travers to put up the pics so everyone can see my lovely pirate costume. When the pics are up I'll give more details on the party; I just feel like I really need them for illustrations.
So, driving to G-vegas today I learned an important lesson. Do not blow bubbles with your chewing gum when you are wearing expensive sunglasses. I blew a huge bubble with my watermelon Bubblicious that burst all over my nice Adrienne Vittadini sunglasses and did not want to come off. It sucked. But, I did discover a great song while I was driving, one I really relate to sometimes. Check out Vertical Horizon's
Miracle.
That's my girl!
I knew I had to have something in common with her!
Trick or treat?
I hate when there's something you want
so bad but there's nothing you can do about it but wait. I got home from work and saw that UPS had been by with my costume. Of course they left it in the office so I can't get ahold of it until tomorrow and it's driving me crazy! I'll probably barely sleep because I have so much to get done tomorrow. I'm ready for the weekend! (And I definitely rarely feel that way with all the stress work puts on me for those 2 days.)
Turns out uptown has all kinds of costume contests. I could have walked away with a lot of money if I'd come up with something really awesome and original. I'm going to spend the next year thinking about Halloween, hoping I can come up with something that will win
me a grand at each of a few bars.
Every hot spot is having a party Saturday. I called Tracey and told her we have to go to Uptown Cabaret by 1 a.m. Apparently they're having a "live" execution on stage at 1 and they'll also have midgets on stilts. Sounds like an interesting show to me! But man, I wish I'd had a camera when I told a couple of the guys at work that I wanted to go there. They tripped me out. One of them was like, "when did it become cool for girls to go to strip clubs?" I was like, "when midget started walking on stilts!" I think they have a really hard time figuring me out, then again -- I am one of a kind!
The one interesting thing about working this weekend will be seeing all the tricks and treats stories. The "scares" have already begun. Check out this story about a
suicide mistaken for a Halloween prank. Very creepy.
Lovin' Life
I deserve a round of applause, I finished a whole pint of beer by myself! For anyone who has drank with me over the last few years, you know that this is a huge accomplishment for me. I'm so proud of myself! I may smell like a smokey bar, but I feel pretty good. As I was driving home (slightly more smashed than I intended to be) I realized I'm happier than I've ever been. I like my job, I have friends I enjoy hanging out with, my family is healthy -- everything seems good. I'm enjoying life! It's almost a strange change of pace.
Tonight I hung out with some of the random guys from work at the Gin Mill. Jim Travers of
http://www.jimtravers.com said that all are welcome to his Halloween party, so anyone who wants to come should join me. Everyone has told me his parties are awesome, and anywhere with free alcohol will attract my attention. With my limited budget, anything with the word "free" attached will attract me.
Speaking of budgets -- athough I had sworn I was done spending money on my costume I found a garter with a little gun on it that I had to get from Party City. It's just so cool, and an excuse to flash a little leg. I want to find a fake tattoo of the skull and crossbones to put on my chest just above where the dress comes to, but I haven't found one anywhere. Too bad I don't know anyone with superior drawing skills. Aaargh! Well I'm hitting the hay for the start of my four-day work week. I know y'all are all jealous! :-p
A few more days till the weekend!
As I was driving home tonight thinking about the weekend I have spent many, many dollars preparing for, I realized that the bars are going to be open an extra hour! Why you ask? Because it's daylight savings time! The clocks will all skip back to 1 a.m. at 2 a.m. What a sweet way to celebrate Halloween! I'll be all set in my pirate get-up. I plan to drip myself in gold and fill my flask (complete with skull and crossbones!) with something that will keep me nice and warm. Yay! Too bad it's going to be so damn cold. My slightly slutty (as Tracey calls it "just enough") costume isn't going to provide much protection from the wind so I'm going to have to huddle up with my buddies. I hate being cold! But hey, pirates are tough, I'll survive.
So anyway, I didn't want to leave everyone with a short blog so I started trying to find some funny tidbit on the web to add here. I had to put this link up to a
cat photo because it made me laugh for like 10 minutes. Anyhow, in honor of all things pirate, here's a parrot joke:
Wanda's dishwasher quit working so she called a repairman. Since she had to go to work the next day, she told the repairman, "I'll leave the key under the mat. Fix the dishwasher, leave the bill on the counter, and I'll mail you a check." "Oh, by the way don't worry about my bulldog. He won't bother you. But, whatever you do, do NOT, under ANY circumstances, talk to my parrot! I REPEAT, DO NOT TALK TO MY PARROT!!!"
When the repairman arrived at Wanda's apartment the following day, he discovered the biggest, meanest looking bulldog he has ever seen. But, just as she had said, the dog just lay there on the carpet watching the repairman go about his work. The parrot, however, drove him nuts the whole time with his incessant yelling, cursing and name calling.
Finally the repairman couldn't contain himself any longer and yelled, "Shut up, you stupid, ugly bird!" To which the parrot replied, "Get him, Spike!"
Shiver me timbers!
I love Halloween season. I'm watching
Psycho and last night I watched
Final Destination 2. I like scary movies this time of year when the weather gets cold and I can curl up under a blanket on the couch. And it certainly is getting cold. My thermometer says it's like 40 degrees, I need to pull out my favorite sweatshirt! Brrrrr. Despite the cold, I'm getting anxious for my slightly-skimpy costume to arrive. I can't wait to try it on and get all the details together. Apparently pirates are popular this year, according to the Observer. Although I pride myself on being an original, I'm kinda looking forward to being in kinship with others this weekend. It'll be fun to
say "argh" to my fellow pirates (including Tré!). I have to get shopping though ASAP. I'm getting an early start on the day, at least for me, because I'm going to lunch with Tracey. Which means I need to get in bed; six days in a row of work has worn me out. My boss said our numbers on the weekend are now meeting our weekday numbers, which means I'm doing a good job -- but 100,000 people checking the site when it's all up to me, no pressure there! At least I know I'm doing my job well, the kind of reassurance I never got from my last job. All compliments were swiftly followed with a slap in the face. Maybe I will be a success after all. Now if I only had a pirate's chest of gold so I could quit working and start writing a novel. Wouldn't it be nice if we could all just follow our dreams?
Just thinkin
I have officially decided I want to be a pirate for Halloween. After watching
Pirates of the Caribbean again (the first sequel comes out in July!), the temptation is just too strong to dress up as one so I can do terrible things and just say, "Pirate," as my excuse. I should make a trip out to Spencer's so I can get a flask to carry too. I'm ordering the sword with the costume online. I figure if I'm going to pay an arm and a leg for shipping I should get as much as I can from the shop. When I finally get a day off on Tues. I'm going to have to go through my make-up and jewelry to see what look I can come up with; it's going to suck though cause I'm going to have to change and get ready for the party at work because of course it's on a Sat. Good thing I work at a TV station where we have neat little dressing rooms.
Alright, I just have to mention this because it's so damn cute. Now that the weather is getting colder the cats are starting to snuggle up to get warm. Last night I woke up and it looked like they were spooning; Champ had fallen asleep with his arm around Jazzie. Most likely he was giving her a bath and fell asleep. Now Jazzie has climbed up on top of him in the tiny little bed and fallen asleep. She's snoring away, completely comfortable, and Champ is falling out of the bed, resting his head on one paw and a notepad and looking like all guys do when a girl falls asleep on them and they are left very uncomfortable but too sweet to move. I really wish my camera was handy. In fact I think it's out in my car, and if I moved from this chair the cats would get up and follow me to the door and the cuteness would be over. So oh well.
Onto the weekend wrap-up! Aside from work, work and more work, I headed out to a haunted woods thing with Tracey, Tré, Lacey, her boyfriend and another couple. Normally I let reason rule and I think to myself, "They're just regular people all dressed up." But last night I let myself get into it and have a good time. Apparently I have a serious fight-or-flight reflex cause I kept trying to run away! I couldn't help myself; I would have dragged Tracey along if she would have let me. Anyhow, it was fun and I actually made it home by 3 a.m., a reasonable hour for a weekend night.
I'm getting hyped up about having a weekend off very soon. I think I really needed a set break before I exploded. Sometimes I feel like I can't make any friends here because I'm unavailable during the day on weekends. I'm fighting an uphill battle to have a normal early 20s life; until my schedule changes I'll be at a disadvantage when it comes to making connections, especially when it comes to guys. Being around couples last night kinda reminded me that although I'm ok
with being single for now, sometimes I get scared I'm going to be single
forever. I just need to know there's a freaking light at the end of the tunnel. I can't believe I'm about to turn 24. Maybe it's because I'm a good six months older than most of my friends or maybe it's because I love kids so much, but I think I feel the pressure to get it together more than most of my friends. I know it won't be long before my biological clock will start ticking so loud that it'll keep me awake at night. It's not like I want a baby next year or something, but I don't want to lose my best child-bearing years and have to rush and go through tests and drama just to have the family I always wanted when I'm in my 30s and 40s. And I don't want to end up like Jennifer Garner and Katie Holmes who are going to be popping out kids before their first year of marriage is up. I want to be able to travel and have a good time with my husband. The cats are enough babies for the first few years! Ok, I'm sure I'm boring any guys who are tuning in and I need to get to bed since I have to work again, so I'm outta here.
He's baaack!
As if I needed proof that Vaughn is still alive! Looks like they're going to get married, which would definitely make my season. They have to give my favorite characters a happy ending. After I found this new pic on People's website I had a hard time not running and telling every "Alias" fan in the station that Vaughn has risen again. I'm a happy girl despite missing out on Rolling Stones.
That's right, my uncle couldn't swing me an extra ticket. I won't hold it against him, besides -- getting out of work would have been tricky. But I saw my 'rents afterwards and it looked like everyone had a blast and they were all pretty wasted. So I countered by heading to the Gin Mill. That place is quickly becoming my favorite bar: the live band is great, they have a terrace and the drinks are reasonable. (
Note to Tré, their Maker's Mark is only $5 and my co-worker calls it "Olympic-sized.") I enjoy hanging out with the guys too; I never get to talk to them at work. They crack me up. I brought up
Say Anything and one of the guys said
he would marry John Cusack in that movie. I appreciated that. The conversation tonight kept rotating back to Will Ferrell. I mentioned him first since "Entertainment Tonight" was in town today for the movie shoot, then it turns out Ferrell was at the Stones concert and one of the guys (who bought his ticket for a mere $60 today and got a massive upgrade when it turns out that seat wasn't available) was only 20 seats away from him. Ferrell actually wore his Wonderbread hat and shirt from the NASCAR movie he's filming
to the concert. What a weirdo! Maybe he was trying to stand out and get all the attention.
Oh, and one of the boys informed me that the fried pickle chips I've been craving are right under my nose. Turns out the bar right next door to the station has them! Anyone want to hit up the Morehead Tavern ASAP?
To go or not to go, that is the question
My uncle called me tonight and told me that he might be able to get me a ticket to the Rolling Stones concert tomorrow -- complete with backstage pass. Now I face a great dilemma. Should
he be able to get me one of the killer tickets, do I find a way to weasel out of Friday Night Fever at work? I know Kyle needs my help and all, but I think he'd understand. But how do I tell my boss I want to skip out early to meet Mick Jagger? It seems so unprofessional, but come on -- the guy is a rock and roll legend! And I'd get to see the brand new arena. Maybe I can find a way to figure work into the equation. I could write a first hand account of the landmark event; I wonder if anyone would read that. I don't know what to do!
On to the other thing that's bugging me -- I want a haircut! Anyone have a ruler, cause I need at least 10 inches that can be cut off for Locks of Love. I could really use my hair shorter for the winter months so it will dry faster. I saw a kid in the paper today who got hers cut and a foot didn't seem to be that drastic, but I don't have a ruler and when I guesstimate it seems like I'll end up with barely any hair left. Oh well, if I can just hang in there I'll have a few more inches by the end of winter. Argh, I have no patience.
Lottery Fever
Apparently everyone in the country is rushing out to buy a lottery ticket. Somehow they all think that because the jackpot is now at $340 million now is the time to try their odds. Well I hate to tell ya people, but your odds are really, really shitty! You're a third more likely to be killed by lightning, and I wouldn't bet on that happening to me or anyone I know. (knock on wood.) I really wonder what is wrong with the general public sometimes. I wonder if folks see
the news stories and think, "everybody else is doing it, I guess I should too!" or if the news stories are naturally springing up from the mass chaos. I can understand buying a ticket or two just for the heck of it if you're already in line at the gas station, after all the money is going to education -- but $120 in tickets! Some of the people News 14 interviewed have lost their minds. Sorry person who spent that much, but you didn't even slightly tip the odds in your favor. You just flushed $120 down the toilet!
Anyhow, all this craziness has made me think a lot about odds. I read a chart in one of my psych books a few years ago that made me never want to get into a car again. Odds are scary things. Here's just a sampling from the National Safety Council's 2002 records:
- Your odds of dying as a car occupant (not including vans or pick-up trucks) in any year are 1 in 17,625. Your lifetime odds are 1 in 228!
- Your odds of dying from an assault, including a gun shot, stabbing, etc. in any year are 1 in 16,325. Your lifetime odds are 1 in 211. (of course those odds aren't quite as evenly distributed as car accidents, certain lifestyles tend to lead to more violent deaths -- but really, better odds of being murdered that just about anything else!)
- Your odds of dying from an injury in any given year are 1 in 1,755. Your lifetime odds are 1 in 23.
- Check out more at: http://www.nsc.org/lrs/statinfo/odds.htm
I also found some website that said your odds of getting away with murder are 2 to 1, so that's good news if any of you plan on killing somebody. I'm not sure how accurate that site is, it's death rates are close to the NSC's and it does say one in three women will develop some form of cancer in her lifetime, which I also know is true, but if it is right -- then there's some good news. I have a 1 in 220 shot at writing a New York Times bestseller, a 1 in 250 chance of having a child who's a genius and only a 1 in 7,000 chance of being considered possessed by Satan. Woo hoo!
My weekend
I think I now officially qualify as a neatfreak. I'm washing my ironing board cover because I dripped rootbeer on it. I really hope that thing doesn't shrink; I'm not sure it's meant to be washed. It's also going to drive me nuts that I'm leaving the ironing board and clothes that need to be ironed out in the living room. On the plus side I think I've finally come to terms with having cat toys constantly all over the floor. Only took me a year! Cat toys are kind of like outfits. If you leave one in sight but kind of forget about it, sooner or later it will become appealing again (most of the time). Champ and Jazzie suddenly found their nylon cubes interesting again while I was trying to take a nap on the couch. I was less than amused, but at least they weren't a waste of money.
Ok, done with ranting, onto the fun stuff! I took a mini-vacation and went to the State Fair on Monday. I had a really good time and it was nice to see Kristina and her family again. This year 4-year-old Troy had a blast and didn't want to leave. He was so cute, he even thanked me for coming with him! Unfortunately I never found my fried pickle chips. I looked
everywhere! But I ate plenty of fair food, including a foot-long hotdog, roasted corn and apple dumplings covered in homemade ice cream. Then I made up for not getting the fried pickles I was craving by stopping by Goodberry's this morning. I can't believe Charlotte doesn't have one! No ice cream can compare to a Carolina concrete. If my tongue could have
reached the bottom of the container, I would have licked it clean. Mmmm, yummy.
The only downside to the trip was after the ecstasy of Goodberry's I had a major sugar crash on the drive home. That, coupled with not sleeping well (I always miss my own bed), made the ride pretty hellish. I got a latte which kept
me awake until I got home, but I crashed right after "My Name is Earl." I'm a little disappointed in myself, I missed the Halloween episode of "The Office." I was hoping to get some costume ideas. I think it'd be pretty funny and original to go as
April O'Neil (since I work at a TV station, and it would be ironic because I'm not a reporter), but A) where the hell am I going to find a yellow jumpsuit? B) Would anyone have any idea who I was? and C) It would be way better if I had some Ninja Turtles to go along, but I don't know if I can convince anyone to dress up as one. I always kinda had a crush on Raphael, I guess that makes me really weird. But hey, he had a sexy voice and I related to his attitude.
Speaking of the Ninja Turtles, I really miss Super Nintendo. I kicked ass on the Ninja Turtles game. My cousin Russell and I played it over and over again one summer so we could keep beating our fastest time. Those were the good ole' days.
Damn, I better get to bed. I'm working another 6-day work week again. At least that means I can party harder on Halloween weekend because I'll be rested from only a 4-day work week. Plus I'm going out with the boys again tomorrow night for media night at the Gin Mill. I have to set my DVR so I can take my time on my free pint of pumpkin spice beer. Hell yeah.
Not so ordinary?
I'm not sure if its the writer or the journalist in me, but I always cut things out of the newspaper that strike me in some way. Sometimes I don't even know why I like them -- they're informative or funny or just plain interesting, or maybe I just like the writing style. Tonight I caught up on three days of the Charlotte Observer and as I was skimming the Saturday paper I noticed a headline on one of the back pages that said something about "a not so ordinary life." The correspondence to my blog's subtitle caught my eye and I read it. It was about an obituary that ran in Albany that was two full newspaper columns long. An only son had written it about his mother, who was no one special per se, but it was beautiful and strange and engrossing -- exactly the kind of story I want to be able to tell.
The woman was told by her mother-in-law that she better not come home from the hospital if the baby wasn't a boy; she broke engagements with two men before she married a third; she had wanted to leave her husband (the son's father) but didn't for the sake of their child and in the end their vows lasted until their deaths. This lady never had a great job and she didn't have
some massive impact on the world, but just by her son's tribute to her she has impacted my life. Her story taught me something about writing that I'm not sure I realized before -- people like to see into other's lives. We want to know the bad and the good, the atrocious things people said to them and the compliments they received.
Scarily enough, my life might not be so ordinary to others. I've spent a lot of time worrying what other people would think if they knew everything about me, worrying how they would judge me and how those who have impacted me for better or worse would feel about my revelations on them once down on paper. I've listened when people told me to stay mysterious, don't always act on what my heart or my head wants to say. But really, what's so interesting about that? No one could ever know everything that's in my mind and more is added to it every day. I say fuck the mystery, why can't we all just be honest?
Of course I clipped that story to keep, just in case I forget what it taught me.
Lots of random thoughts
My mom is one of the funniest people I know, and unintentionally so. When she plays video games she has to move her whole body with the character, when she watches boxing she has to throw punches, when she drinks she gets tipsy off of one glass of wine and when she talks to her sister on the phone you can hear both sides of the conversation through multiple walls. As a kid it used to drive me nuts that she would get so worked up when she talked on the phone. She gasps and makes other sounds of shock pretty frequently. She could be having the most
mundane conversation in ages but it sounds like she's discussing something scandalous. My siblings and I used to follow her around just waiting for her to get off the phone and tell us what she heard. Usually we were disappointed. She was having a conniption over someone losing her watch or breaking a glass.
However, I now find this quality of hers endearing and quite amusing. So tonight I was talking to her and asked her if she'd heard about the woman who tried to cut the baby out of a pregnant lady in Pittsburgh. She hadn't, so I gave her all the gruesome details and giggled to myself at her distress on the other end of the line. I can be so easily entertained.
Well the story (
http://www.cnn.com/2005/US/10/13/pregnantwoman.attacked/index.html) is pretty disturbing, and I got to thinking, "Man, this world is full of crazy people!" If the woman needed to find a baby so bad to pull off her fake pregnancy to sucker her estranged husband, she could have just gone to any local high school, looked for a knocked-up girl of the appropriate race and offered her a couple grand for her unborn child. There are plenty of babies ending up in dumpsters these days, there's no reason to be cutting people open to steal their wanted children! And if you can find a kidney on the black market, couldn't you find a baby too if you were really desperate? Desperate enough to kill your neighbor?
Anyhow, I'm really excited that
Elizabethtown opens tomorrow. Cameron Crowe is the man; I know I've said it before, but if I could be half the writer he is, then I would feel extremely blessed. He's so profound, and his musical choices are excellent. All I had to hear was the Tom Petty song on the trailer and I was sold on the movie. It hasn't gotten great reviews, but the critics can bite me, I'm sure I'll love it. Besides, it's got Orlando Bloom lookin mighty fine, and I could handle watching that for 2 hours if nothing else.
The problem is, I hate seeing movies by myself and my schedule makes it hard to find anyone to go with me, especially since I still don't know many people in this city. I've done it before with movies I really wanted to see, but I always end up going home feeling kinda like a loser. Even worse is when people go with me to see movies they've already seen just so I don't have to go alone. That makes me feel really bad. (P.S., my sister, yes you Robin, does that to me all the time after she sees them the first time around with her boyfriend.) So, I don't know what I'm gonna do.
As a weekend worker I'm also screwed on finding someone to go to Raleigh with me to hit up the State Fair. I know what you're thinking, it's lame, right? But it's the only place I know of that has fried pickle chips! They are soooo good! That sick satisfaction that fried foods give you, plus just a little tang from the pickles. Just thinking about them makes my mouth water. Plus, I'm a dork and I like to go look at the animals.
I could just go on Mon. or Tues. by myself and meet up with some of my friends that live around Raleigh. Last year I went with my friend Kristina, her husband Trevyn and her son Troy. We had fun, but Troy was ready to leave quite a while before the rest of us. He was 3 and he calls me his best friend, so it's all good! It could be a plan, but I'd like to have someone ride with me on the trip. I get bored driving. (Scarily enough, I'm not even an N.C. native and I always see more people I know at the fair than the people I go with; last year I saw a county commissioner and a principal that I knew from reporting and a friend from UNC.)
So, I guess in summary, what I'm saying is I need to make more friends, and anyone interested in seeing
Elizabethtown after 8 p.m. one of these days or going to the State Fair after work Mon. or Tues., let me know!
Dead Smurfs and camel toads
I found this really upsetting picture at work today. Some crazy Unicef person came up with the idea of blowing up the Smurf village in advertising to teach children about the horrors of war. First of all, do children really need to be educated about such harsh realities? I think campaigning should be aimed at adults, the ones who create and support war; not the children
who are already psychologically disturbed by the ills of the world.
But I'm not trying to get into a political argument, I'm just mad somebody hurt the Smurfs! Why them? They are an '80s symbol -- kids today can't even relate! And they were peace-loving peoply-thingies. All they wanted to do was live and be happy and not get eaten by Azreal. Why not kill off the Power Rangers or Barney? Who wouldn't want to see that fat purple dinosaur bleed? I could even deal with dead Ninja Turtles (although they were my personal faves growing up). Anyhow, my point is, this ad made me sad and I wanted to share it with some of you other '80s babies who might be equally appalled.
Next, just for the sheer hilarity of it, I'm going to repost an article a co-worker passed on to me. This appeared in an actual newspaper in their "Ask Leslie" section. I couldn't find the copy of the article online again, but I found the text. Enjoy!
Scouting for ‘camel toads' at pool nothing to be concerned about -- Jun. 15, 2005Q. I hope you can help me with a problem I have with my godson. Last summer he visited me for two weeks and plans to return in July. When cleaning out the room he stays in, I found an unfinished correspondence to a chum of his in his hometown. In it he says he going to our local pool to “scout out some camel toads.” (I believe that's what it said, he had spilled iced tea all over the desk when writing it, and it damaged a lot of papers.) I'm concerned he is doing drugs.
I tried to look for camel toads in a drug book, and I didn't find them, but I found references to some type of frog or toad that people in another country lick to hallucinate. I don't want to approach him on this until I have more information.
He is a good boy in middle school whose parents do not even drink. Please let me know what camel toads are and how I might be able to tell if he is smoking, taking or licking them.
Perhaps I should have talked to his parents, but I don't want to jump the gun. Is this something the local authorities need to be alerted to in order to protect other patrons at the pool or surrounding area?
A concerned and uninformed readerA. The iced tea did a number on the toads, so my younger, hipper coworkers tell me. What he undoubtedly wrote was “camel toes,” a crude euphemism for, well, too-tight pants worn by females. The good news is that the expression has absolutely nothing to do with drugs. It has everything to do with why teenage boys go to the pool in the first place.
Leslie Potter is on the staff of the Hays Public Library, which sponsors this column on Wednesdays and Fridays. Write her at the library at 1205 Main, Hays, KS 67601, or e-mail her at
lpotter@fhsu.edu.
Whatta day
Damn my computer can be so frustrating. Last night a piece that connects it to the internet crapped out. It was like an old pair of headphones, I had to jiggle the wire just right to get any service. Well, of course I couldn't deal with that kind of frustration, so today I ran out and got a card adapter, which cost me $50!!!! Luckily it has a $20 rebate deal, but still. Then my
computer didn't want to accept the damn thing, but I made it. Unfortunately, now my virus protection won't work. Anyone got any suggestions? The last thing I need is for this crappy computer to be finally taken down by the PC version of HIV. I can't afford another one!
Despite it being past 12:30 a.m. and like 60 degrees, I had to let the cats out on the porch before I lost my mind, so now my apartment is
cold! Jazzie told me if she didn't get outside she was going to keep crying until I pulled my hair out -- at least I imagine that's what her long whines meant. And then she went and pulled the blinds apart at the door and stuck her head through, so being the pushover that I am, I gave in and let her and Champ out. Now I can't go to bed for at least another 20 minutes, the time it usually takes for them to get their fill of watching the parking lot.
Anyhow, it was kind of a long day, what with worrying that I'll have to buy a new computer soon and my trips to Target and Home Depot. I'll finally be able to fix my toilet though. Apparently they don't sell just the lid, you have to buy the whole seat -- what a waste! I figure the management people won't notice it's different when I move out. I mean really, how often do you really look at the toilet seat? I also have to make sure I go back to Target before the end of the month. I have a coupon for 15 free prints when you order them online with digital photos. Well
with my broken internet access this morning I couldn't order them damn it! P.S., Target had some pretty good adult costumes. You could be a Ghostbuster for Halloween!
Speaking of Halloween, I still haven't figured out what I want to be. I guess it depends on what I end up deciding to do. Halloween is a big holiday for my family, not celebrating it is
not an option. Since I have Mon. and Tues. off, I could go home and help out the family. Last year they lacked the motivation to go all-out with the decorations, so I helped out a bunch. But this year my mom has brought many of the ghosts and gouls out of the attic already. That's option 1. There's also a party one of the guy's at work throws. Everyone says his parties are cool, but they were a lot better before our station was downsized. So that's option 2. Or, I could be completely uncool and head to Chapel Hill for the big street party, option 3. Scarowinds could also be neat on Halloween night, but lacks in the
drinking category, option 4. I guess option 5 is the unknown. So, wide range of costumes there. What I'd really like to be -- go figure -- is Sydney Bristow, CIA agent extrordinaire. I sure hope she's not what some company had in mind when they came up with this skin-tight double agent costume. Not only is it not exactly my style, but good god would I freeze to death!
I think my second preference is bar wench. I'm not sure why. For some reason I've been feeling particularly bar-wenchy. Ooh, or
maybe a sexy pirate! Either way I could carry my own beer mug. Amazon has a lot of options.
Well, it being Sunday night in my world I should probably go to bed so I can get up for work tomorrow. Besides, Jazzie, like oh so many young women, is wandering arounding whining because she doesn't know what she wants. A little crab meat shut her up for the moment, but once I'm under the covers she won't have anyone to whine to. And it's cold in here, I need Champ to come cuddle up with me and give me some of that 101 degree body heat. Nighty-night.
Thinking about Christmas already?!?
Either I've lost my mind or boredom is starting to go to my head. I think my cats would vote for the former. Tonight I tried to start teaching Champ a trick. I figured since he jumps like he's going to catch the newspaper when I throw it in the door each morning, that maybe he could learn to catch a treat in his mouth. On the one hand he was pretty pleased that I gave him a whole handful of treats. On the other hand, he looked at me like I had completely gone nuts when I was throwing them in the air so that they landed right on his head. I thought maybe we could work our way up to the handstands, but maybe not so much.
However, boredom did give me a really great idea today. I was thinking about how much I want a Christmas tree this year because I might not even get to go home for Christmas Eve or Christmas. So I was thinking about finding Christmas ornaments and Jazzie's shiny little bootchy ball caught my eye. I thought: that would make a pretty little ornament. Suddenly it occurred to me that I bought a whole bunch of cat toys right after Christmas last year because they were on clearance. In fact, a Santa and Christmas tree toy are still hanging on the cat tree. If I just take those toys and hang them on the lower branches with red string, then I'll have instant ornaments and if the cats steal them and tear them up, it's ok because they
are cat toys! Sometimes I'm so proud of myself :).
Anyhow, I'm really glad the weekend is finally here for me. I got a really rude email from some guy blasting my work on Friday. I accidentally wrote "dropper" instead of "dropped" in the sentence, "She dropped the gun and it fired." Of course Word didn't mark it because it wasn't technically spelled wrong, and I had to read the sentence three times in his email just to figure out what was wrong with it. I mean, come on dude, give me a break! It's a psychological principle; you don't read the whole sentence anyway, your eyes see the first few letters in the context and infers the rest. He said our writers must not be college grads, he accused us of being unprofessional and claimed we frequently used bad grammar and spelled things wrong. The irony is, he spelled a compound word incorrectly in the email. I wanted to write the asshole back and tell him he's not perfect either, but for the sake of my job I held my tongue (or fingers, as the case may be) and just got my feelings hurt. The guys at work tried to make me feel better. One of them said he read it 10 times before he could figure out what part of the sentence the guy was complaining about. They also agreed that we rarely spell anything wrong or use improper grammar -- it's this jerk-off that must be confused because he doesn't know or understand AP style. Sometimes it dictates you write things a certain way that sound odd to the average ear, but are actually correct grammar. Blah. I'm going to bed.
Cats are causing me more work!
As much as I love my critters, they can really complicate my life. Last week the toilet seat had finally had it with them using it as a springboard to get to the bathroom counter (and the oh-so-glorious sink in Jazzie's water-obsessed mind). So half of it just snapped right off the hinges. I unscrewed the other half to completely detach it and threw it in the back of the 4Runner. Maybe one of these days I'll be inspired to go to Home Depot and get another one. I'm hoping that day is Mon. because I'm kind of getting tired of Champ dragging his wet back legs all over the floor
when he falls in. However, the lack of a toilet cover has led to some hilarious looks of wonder on his little face. It's like that episode of the Simpsons when they go to Australia and Bart keeps flushing the toilet to watch the water spin in the opposite direction (which I heard is a myth, by the way). Every time I flush Champ runs up to the toilet and jumps onto the edge to watch the water go down. I can't decide whether he's just fascinated by the motion or if he's trying to figure out where the water is going. Either way, it's weird and funny at the same time.
Jazzie on the other hand has had something weird going on with her skin so I might have to make a trip to Greenville on Tuesday to visit the vet. My mom has me all freaked out that she might be diabetic since diabetes makes people and animals excessively thirsty, and Jazzie certainly seems to be excessively thirsty. Poor skin and coat are also symptoms, so this weird skin thing is worrying me. It just occurred to me though that I was a bad mom last week and put the cheap Wal-Mart-bought flea meds on her and maybe she's having an allergic reaction to it. Poor little Boo! She's also pissed I've almost used up all of the paper towel fort she created last week when Champ pulled the towels off the stand while I was at work.
Oh well, c'est la vie! I'm going to watch a new SNL for the first time in ages. I gotta see if Ashlee Simpson screws up again. I don't want to miss pop culture history in the making!
Contents not flammable
Today I was trying to be a decent employee and watch something newsy at work, so I turned on 20/20. They had something on about the housing market, which I'm interested these days because I want an uptown condo. So I watched it pretty closely, but was easily distracted into my storytelling mode when I saw a guy picking up bomb casings from his backyard and putting them into a green Army ammo box. So here's the story I just had to tell my co-worker:
When I was about 14 and my little brother was about 7 we had a light snow at our house in Greenville. It was a typical Greenville snow, just enough to dust the ground, but not enough to last more than a day. Well Dean, my little brother, got the bright idea that he was going to save some of the snow. He pulled out an Army ammo box from the garage, one of two my dad had
purchased for us at his friend Jeff Zaglan's Army and Navy store, and walked across the street to the neighbor's house that was on the market. The house had an excess of trees so it had more shade and thus more snow on the ground. Dean filled the ammo box and placed it under a tree near the road for safe keeping.
A little while later we noticed a bit of commotion in front of the house. We (my mom, sister, little brother and I) all crowded around a window and discovered it was the bomb squad in their big metal truck. They were picking up the ammo box with a long pole and putting it in the back of the truck. Some freak called the bomb squad on the kid's snow box! Despite Dean's tears over them taking his box, my mom and I couldn't handle the embarrassment of telling the bomb squad that it was just a box of snow Dean had left on private property. So we watched them hall it away and told Grant and my dad what happened that night. We figured they'd be kind of mad we didn't stop them from taking the box, but it turns out it was actually pretty damn funny.
Ah yes, having siblings has provided me with a wealth of strange stories. I was forbidden from posting the SuperSoaker story to the general public, but if you ask me some time I just might tell it to ya.
Rainy day ruminations
It's been raining like a mofo all day here. Jazzie thinks God turned on a giant faucet just for her, so despite being cold and wet she refuses to come inside. I was pretty miserable getting up in the dark for work this morning, but if the weather is like this tomorrow I'll be pretty happy since I get to lay in bed until after 1 p.m. Yay for Fridays! When high school football is over I might actually miss the late nights because I'll lose my late mornings. Oh well, at least I'll be back on a regular schedule.
Anyway, today was further proof that things are typically what they seem and there are few exceptions to the rule. In general, if you are at the scene of a suspicious death, then you probably killed the person. Period. We get the stories every day -- man claims he found his step-daughter stabbed to death, two weeks later he's charged; woman claims she tripped, dropped her husband's gun and it shot him in the back of the head, a few weeks later she's charged with murder. It's too predictable; I call it every time. The amount of denial people close to them will go through is also amazing. This guy's family is standing by the daughter-in-law, even though her story is preposterous. The guy was a police officer, wouldn't his gun have the safety on? And why would he have left it lying around, loaded no less, with two small children in the house? It's like the Laci Peterson case; her parents stood by Scott for weeks until they found out about the affair. Come on people! If it walks like a duck and quacks like a duck, it's probably a duck!
I think another sign of the obvious popped up on "Alias" tonight. They've changed the opening. It used to be all pictures of Sydney in her many disguises. Now suddenly she gets just a few slides in the beginning and all the rest of the cast takes up most of the sequence. I think it's a sign that now she is considered replaceable, she's no longer the big star of the show. I'm pretty sure it means that this is her last season, and of course Michael Vartan, a.k.a. Vaughn, wasn't even in the credits. That's bad news -- maybe his character really is dead for good -- or at least the producers want us to think so. So without J. Gar and Vartan I think I too will be retiring my spy days and start watching something else on Thursday nights next year. Then again, the new male APO officer is pretty cute. We'll see if he grows on me.
I'm back
After sleeping away most of my "weekend," I guess I'm ready to write again. What can I say, I partied a little too hard for someone who had to work all weekend. But I did break away from the comfort of my couch to hit up the new mall. It was pretty sweet if I do say so myself. I bought some pants for work and a party shirt. At least my purchasing was balanced! I figure I might need the shirt if Tracey moves back up here and she takes me out "manhunting."
So the big gossip of the day is Katie Holmes' pregnancy; it makes me want to puke! She and Michelle Williams, the Dawson's Creek
girls I grew up with, are both having babies with men they haven't been dating long and neither are married to. Some example they're setting -- at least Britney Spears was married when she got knocked up! Why are all the actresses and singers my age in such a hurry to get married and have babies? Most of the respectable artists didn't get engaged until they were in their 30s. I would much rather follow in the footsteps of Gwyneth Paltrow and Jennifer Aniston. (Of course if I looked like them life would be much easier too!) At least Joshua Jackson is still single. Damn, maybe I should have stayed in Raleigh to go to hockey games. I don't know of any celebrities that go to Panthers or Bobcat games.
So I'm trying to come up with another way to make a little dough for going out. My shoe-string budget can't support my love of liquor. I could always get another job, at least for the holiday
season, at the new mall. Or, maybe I could teach my cats some stupid pet tricks to do on the streets of uptown for chump change. I ran across the Moscow Cat Circus or something like that and those cats were pretty cool to watch. I think I could teach Jazzie to do the cat handstand. She even looks like the cool cat. Offer her some Aquari-yums and she'll do just about anything! I wish people were that easy to please, myself included.
Actually, I'm not that hard to please. Hand me a DVD with a hot guy involved (preferably in some sweaty action mode) and some sort of cake/cookie/chocolate and it's all good. I might even purr for ya.
Alrighty, maybe I still haven't caught up on all my sleep. I'm gonna hit the hay with my furry buddies so I can drag my ass to "Tuesday" of work.
Too much partying, me sleepy!
This morning I came home when the sun was coming up. Then I had to be up in less than 4 hours to return to work! That was after only getting 5 hours of sleep the night before too. Oh well, there's nothing wrong with a hard-partying weekend once in a while. So, I'm not very lucid right now. Coffee kept me awake at work, which is more than I can say for one of our producers! Until I have more to say, I'll hold you over with my pic from our last bar stop last night before we headed to the after-party at Tre's (where I got my very own copy of the new "Family Guy" movie!).
Hooray for October!
Yippee! It's October! I love the fall. I'm not sure if it's because I like the cool weather or because my birthday is in fall or just because I feel most comfortable in jeans -- the standard fall apparel. Maybe it's because Halloween is just a few weeks away. I love a holiday that celebrates by asking you to be somebody else. It's one of the few times of the year I stretch beyond my comfort boundaries and literally change the person that I am. I hear one of the guys at work has a killer (no pun intended) Halloween party every year. Although I really want to go, I'm also tempted to do Scarowinds with my sister or go down to help my parents scare the bejesus out of all the Greenville kids. I missed Halloween at the family house for four years while I partook in
the UNC revelries. Last year I went home and had a really good time. The little Champster had a good time too, you see, but the tiny Jazzmeister wasn't even born yet!
Anyhow, I started out what is probably my favorite month by enjoying a few drinks with my brother's girlfriend, who is in town for the weekend. Her family and a lot of her friends live here. I managed to stay sober enough to drive home so I can get to bed and still manage to drag my ass to work tomorrow. It's going to be a loooong day though. I think this whole working weekends thing is why there is so much intra-office dating at the station. That and Time Warner is so big they don't have any policies against it -- it would be impossible to regulate. I guess it's pretty inevitable when a bunch of young, good-looking people work closely together. And our people are fun too. I gotta start going to "media night" at the Gin Mill so I can know some of these guys outside the office. I finally have a job with cool co-workers, why not take advantage of it?
we've got, and those things are starting to deteriorate with time. It was fun to see all the kids in their costumes. The little girl from down the street was the cutest thing I have ever seen! And I got to see the baby of a girl I knew from school. The baby was a tad on the chubby side, much like her mama. It was weird to see her again. I remember going to Costa Rica with her when I was in 9th grade and she told us her nickname was "Big Mac" because she was with some guy at a party and you all can guess what was going on that he described as "like she was chowing down on a Big Mac." I can't believe she has a kid!
