Stories from an ordinary life

Warning: May be sappy

Despite how silly "Grey's Anatomy" can be, it still made me cry tonight and I don't cry easily at TV shows. I didn't even cry when Nate died on "Six Feet Under" and that was devastating for me! But tonight there was this old couple on that reminded me of my grandparents. The woman came in and needed gallbladder surgery and the surgeons discovered she had advanced cancer. The doc told the husband and he asked her not to tell his wife because he wanted her to be happy during the few months she had to live. Then, because she obviously was obligated to tell the woman she had cancer, the doc informed her patient, who then asked her not to tell the husband because she didn't want him to be worried or upset.

Meanwhile, in the real world, the second anniversary of my grandmother's death from cancer is quickly approaching and my mom and I have been talking about her a lot lately. Her ashes are about to be placed in a new mausoleum thing at the church. So the show got me thinking about my grandma and how amazing she was and how much she and my grandpa loved each other, and I started to cry. I feel silly still crying when I think about her because it was so long ago and she was in her 70s; she felt like she was ready to die. But I miss her. I respected her wisdom and I feel like the world is at a loss without it. And she was one of the few people who always understood me without me ever having to say a word.

Grandma kept her illness hidden from almost everyone one because she didn't want anyone to worry, and she refused to have it treated. She was so strong. This time two years ago no one could even tell she was sick. The last time I saw her was at Thanksgiving when I took my and my roommates dog over to her house to visit. She always loved animals, just like me.

Anyhow, there's an upside to my reminiscing. As I sat here at the computer shopping online for Christmas presents, Jazzie curled up next to me and started her sweet little purring snore. I looked at her content little face and something about it really comforted me. I know my grandma would have adored her and she wouldn't have thought I was silly for how much I pamper my pets. Jazzie stretched and put her little paw on my arm, and I thought to myself (as cheesy as it sounds): this is what makes life worthwhile -- God's creatures big and small -- family and love and taking care of each other. Fuck the politics, nothing else matters. And in case you're wondering (Mom!), I'm not talking about romantic love, I'm talking about the genuine heart to heart connections that exist unconditionally between people. For example, despite all the shit I've been through with my ex Kris, and although I don't think we belong together, I will always love him. When he called me tonight and said his dad is in the hospital, I was ready to spend all night there with him if he needed me, no questions asked. He said he'd be ok, but I'm still going to keep one ear open for a phone call . . . just in case.

posted by This one time . . . @ 2:19 AM