Stories from an ordinary life

Why am I a gift horse?

I am such a freak. My parents came to town and wanted to buy me something for my birthday. Instead of getting something for myself, I took them to PetSmart and got my cats a really awesome cat tree. Actually it's one nailed on top of another one for a more interesting and taller tree. They of course are thrilled, but my dad thinks I have totally lost my mind. I, on the other hand, am rather pleased with my decision. I like to give things, and that includes giving to my cats. I've never been a good "receiver." I don't know how to react when I get gifts, I'd much rather give them. I look forward to the holidays because I get to give things to the people I love, preferably unique, well thought-out gifts. Of course I love the holidays for other reasons -- the family gatherings, the decorations, the songs and the midnight Christmas service -- but for as long as I can remember I've been creating or buying gifts for my family, far longer than any of my siblings. Like most kids I looked forward to "Santa" bringing me toys, but that never meant as much to me as the Christmas tree or dressing my dolls in their holiday dresses. In fact, once my little brother was old enough to know there was no Santa and started begging to open presents before Christmas morning, I always offered to give everyone my gifts because I couldn't wait for them to see what I got them. I didn't even want to open any of mine.

I have no idea why I'm this way; it's not like I think I can buy their love or something, it's not about materialism. I even used to give flowers and things to the little boys I had crushes on in pre-school. I'm such a weirdo! Luckily only one person has ever taken advantage of my giving nature. That jerk got me to buy him so much stuff before he got caught cheating on me. But whatever, it hasn't changed me one bit. If I see something that I think someone I know would like, I always feel tempted to buy it. But somehow, this season is different and I can't find anything I want to buy for any of my loved ones this year. With only a little over a month left I am starting to freak out a bit. I'm picky too -- I don't want to be generic, I want to give each of them something special. But what do you give to the people that seem to have everything? I don't want to give my sister more crap she'll have to pack up every time she moves in and out of a dorm, and she's too picky about clothes. I can't afford the techno-weenie gadgets my brothers adore. So this is a plea -- anyone have any ideas for me?

posted by This one time . . . @ 12:11 AM