Stories from an ordinary life

Getting a life?

My fans have been calling for my return so I thought I'd throw in a little tidbit tonight before I go to bed. I've actually had a life for like the last month -- I've had visitors, went home to see the family and tried to knock out some of the ever-growing stack of books on my nightshade. Right now I'm voraciously consuming "Love Monkey" after the show got canceled. (Although I did read the 8 taped episodes will air on VH1.)I must say, I liked the show much better. Tom Cavanaugh as Tom Farrell was much more likeable than the literary version of the main character. The book is funny though, very witty. The character made some comment about how people strive for success just to impress people at some imaginary high school reunion in the future. I laughed out loud. I know I've spent plenty of time thinking, "Wow, if I did this with my life then they'd all be sorry they made fun of me."

Actually over the last week or so I've thought a lot about what I want out of my career. You see, when I was 15 I bought a Rolling Stone with Gavin Rossdale on the cover. I bought it because I was madly in love with his voice and planned on plastering the photos to my bedroom wall. But then I read the article and my world was changed forever. Teachers (except those who didn't like me because I talked too much in class and went against the grain of society) had always told me I was a talented writer. I thought maybe I'd be a novelist or a children's book writer, but that Rolling Stone article sparked my interest in journalism. I thought, "hell, here's a way to make an actual living writing instead of hoping to get published." I had no idea how impossible my goal of working for the world's most renowned music magazine would be; these days I just hope to make enough money someday to actually own my own place.

Anywho, now Rolling Stone and MTV are doing a reality show where young writers compete for a 1-year position at the mag. I had like 5 people email me the info with the message, "It's your dream job!" Yes, I agree, but it's not exactly the best route for me at this time in my life. First of all, me on reality TV? I don't see that happening. I'm not the kind of person who wants my successes and failures out there for the world to see. Second, I'd have to take a leave of absence or quit my job for 2 months to head to New York where I'll struggle to survive with a bunch of desperate, insanely talented people. I don't know if I could take the pressure, and if I didn't get the position I'd come back to Charlotte crushed. This might be one of those cases where it's better not to know what I'm missing by not living in New York and working for Rolling Stone. After I experience the college life while I was a rising senior in high school, coming back to that set of cinder block buildings was like being sentenced to prison. I don't want to go through that again.

Plus, I'm not sure that's the life I want anymore. I'm not sure I'm cut out for the impersonality of a city that large, I don't know if I want to write articles that long and I don't know if I want a life that big, so to speak. Maybe I just wanted a career schmoozing with famous people to impress the jerks I went to grade school with, when in reality I'd be happier settling down in a city where I can afford a place that has a little room for the cats to run so they aren't always using me as a part of their obstacle course.

Ok, I hadn't planned on rambling so long. I still have to figure out a way to get out of these apartment inspections they're doing while I'm in DC and I'm running out of time before my plane leaves. (If they figure out I have pets that I have "paid" for I'm going to owe some major bucks. Yikes!)

posted by This one time . . . @ 1:06 AM