Stories from an ordinary life

So drained . . .

The last two weeks have been the most emotionally draining days of my life. First I must mention that my brother Grant and Tracey got engaged on Christmas Eve, congrats guys! He wants to tell the world and was sorely disappointed when I didn't post something about it just a few days after the holiday. Of course I was in the midst of my bitterness over working the holidays. (Which, by the way, I'm still not completely over after I found out I DON'T get paid extra because they weren't "company-santioned holidays", a.k.a. they weren't on the company calendar because they were on weekends.)

Anywho, so last week I drove back to G-vegas to do the Christmas catch-up with two of my high school buddies and on the way a rock flew up and put a chip in my windshield (*the second windshield I've had in the less-than-a-year I've owned the car) and then I got a speeding ticket. On the positive side, the ticket was in Greenville so my dad can get me out of it and the chip can be fixed without replacing the windshield (or so they say over the phone.) The next day I dropped my cell phone and destroyed it. I didn't just break it, I annihilated it. So I had to go in and pay full price for a new phone since I'm 2 months from an upgrade. Thus I didn't get the phone I wanted, and the one I got, while cool, drops call all the time! So I'm going to take it back next week and switch back to a V60 for 6 weeks so I can get the RAZR. To top all the phone troubles off, my old phone was so dead that I lost all my phone numbers so I can't even call my friends to bitch about how crappy my holiday season has been.

So then, just before New Year's, I had a huge blow-out with my ex, who's still my friend but thinks he made a huge mistake breaking up with me nearly 4 years ago. Which has me thinking, what the hell am I really looking for? Weak-in-the-knees passion or companionship, caring and love that lasts a lifetime? I don't think I'm ready to give up on the former, but can the two ever be combined? I'm not sure anyone ever finds that. I already know life is no fairy tale, but I don't want to settle either. The older I get, the pickier I am and the more I want it all. Damn it all to hell.

posted by This one time . . . @ 6:24 PM