I need a magic 8 ball
Most of you already know that my position at News 14 has been eliminated, but I thought I'd write a little update here. The story is, the head honchos only want two people running the Web site and we have three people. That means one of us has to go. To be fair they are making us all reapply and reinterview. Yippee. The way I figure, and most others assume the same, the guys will be rehired because they've been at the
station much longer than me. I got the short straw. Kyle thinks he has an equal chance of being the cut one because he told our boss a few weeks ago that he was looking at other jobs. I don't know if that info got passed on to the other peeps though so, being one of the first on the Web team, I think his job is safe.
The boss says they will find me another position and won't leave me hanging without a job. Not that I'm ungrateful, but I'm doing what I really enjoy and I'm happy. I don't want another position in television. So I'm keeping my options open, but it feels like my world has been turned upside down. I'm reapplying for my own job, looking at jobs in other cities and applying to grad school all at the same time. I freaked out for a few minutes there, but I'm taking it all in stride now. Just have to get my boss to write a recommendation and put the finishing touches on my grad school letter. I can never tell whether or not I've actually written something good. I'm a terrible judge of my own writing, so I'm hoping Kyle and my parents will tell me if the second attempt is better than my first.
Sometimes I really wish I had a crystal ball. I like some surprises and I'm sure I'd be a mess if I knew bad things that would happen in the future -- but wouldn't life be so much easier if we knew everything would turn out the way we want? As long as I get to keep my job OR I get into grad school, everything will be fine. But what if I get neither?
There are several other uncertanties in my future (love, family, housing, etc.), but some of those have been looking up recently. I'm finally content to wait and see what happens. All I've got to do is be confident and don't stress, and some situations will just shake themselves out. I come from a long line of matriarchs that said "everything happens just as it's supposed to." Not that you can argue with that; you can't exactly prove God wrong. I'll keep you all posted.
A little analogy
While dangling a toy in front of my cats tonight, an interesting analogy to human nature struck me. Go ahead and get your laughter out of the way now; I think it's interesting.
Anyhow, one of my cats chases the toy all over the place, jumping in the air and flailing about like a ragdoll. He only snags it about half the time. The other one finds a comfy spot on the floor and waits for it to swing her way, then she swats at it and doesn't seem to care whether or not she catches it. She's just hanging around for the entertainment.
So what I started thinking is, a lot of people fit into those two molds. Some people are the go-getters who chase what they want, no matter how many times they fail or how silly they may look, and some are the observers -- people who view life as entertainment and don't take it too seriously. Maybe they're lazy, maybe they just aren't ambitious, or maybe they realize that at in the ends it doesn't really matter, that we're all just along for the ride. Maybe the go-getters are just wasting a lot of energy on mostly fruitless pursuits.
Sometimes I'm really conflicted about where I fit into that pattern. When I was younger I was really stubborn and driven. I was all bright lights, big city, no guts, no glory. I think I wore myself out. Now I'm more laid back. I got tired of chasing dreams I could never get to, and I started to drift a little to wherever life wants to take me. Sometimes I chastise myself for not being more ambition, not striving for big goals and big dreams. But damn, I just want to be able to afford a decent place to live! (FYI: They're raising my rent so I have to move in 2 months.) I wish I could just relax more and see life as an amusing tale, a Shakespearean comedy. Ok, I'm being too hard on myself -- I'm comparing myself to a creature whose greatest pleasures are drinking water from a running faucet and chasing bugs. Bed time!
Mini-vacation
I know I've told most people about my trip to D.C. the first weekend in April, but I wanted to share a few pictures after I finally got around to saving them on my computer. First, as with my trip, was a stop over at the zoo. I can't go there and not visit the zoo. I never get tired of looking at the animals, and this time was my first truly thorough trip through it. The baby panda was adorable! You could hear people awing from 50 yards away. He was driving his poor mama nuts by playing with her when she just wanted to rest on a tree branch. My photo wouldn't load right so I snagged this one from the National Zoo page.
Then I spent a lot of time with the otters. I've always been a big fan of those critters. I used to tell my parents I would have one as a pet someday. That earned me the nickname "Ellie May"; I think she had an otter swimming in the Clampets' pool one time. Turns out I can speak otter. I made a whole bunch of noises at them and they talked back. It was pretty cool.
Then I headed out to a party in Adam's Morgan for one of my BFFs, Joelle. I got to meet her new beau, who was super nice. She's big time in love, and I'm really happy for her. We caught up on old times and had a few laughs. It was so good to see her again and have a little girl talk. Sometimes I forget how much I miss her and some of my other long-time girlfriends. Below is a pic of the two of us at Nolan's.
The next day my friend Bob and I did a little sightseeing. I was a big whiner because I'm not a fan of doing lots of walking outside when it's hot and it was pretty close to 80 and I was in jeans. But I endured and we went all through Arlington Cemetary before I met up with Joelle again and later headed to Pentagon City to visit KP. If you haven't ever been to the cemetary, check out JFK's grave, it's pretty cool.
KP and I did the usual -- did some partying, ran some errands and saw
Ice Age 2. It was all good times. I can't believe it had been nearly a year since I saw him last.
Important note to all:
Alias returns next Wednesday! I, of course, am ecstatic. Also, I'm planning on checking out
What about Brian?, which starts Monday, with a special preview episode Sunday in place of
Gray's Anatomy. It's J.J. Abrams' latest venture, and the guy created
Felicity,
Alias and
Lost so I have high hopes that it will be fantastic. I only hope this show lasts longer than
Love Monkey.
